Gentlemen! Do you know the difference between a lunch date and a lunch meeting with a professional woman?
If you’re not sure… read on.
It’s time for⚡️Bonus Content⚡️in the quest to help young women professionals get comfortable with initiating and hosting business lunches with men. This one’s for the guys!
Guys, it’s simple:
At a business lunch, behave as if your wife AND your mother are sitting at the next table watching you.
If that doesn’t provide enough guidance, then here are some more specific guidelines:
– You do not need to compliment the woman’s appearance. This is not a date. Women in business are so much more than their outfits and makeup. Don’t focus on her physical appearance.
– She has a name, and you should use it. No “honey”, “dear”, or other overly familiar names. If you “can’t remember names”, then use this hack: exchange business cards at the beginning of lunch and leave hers on the table where you can see it.
– A polite handshake before and after lunch is the only touching allowed. (Remember, this article is about an initial in person meeting. After years working together, hugs may happen. But not initially.)
– Pay attention to seating. For her, a chair is better than a booth; a regular chair is better than a bar height chair. Sit across from her not beside her.
– If she’s hosting, accept that she is paying, and don’t argue about the bill. Just say thank you.
– Don’t pressure her into having alcohol just because you want a beer at lunch. She can decide for herself whether she wants a drink or not. Be prepared to drink alone or to change your order.
– Break your bias. If you don’t know anything about gender bias, Google, Alexa or ChatGPT can help you. Basically, you need to assume her competence, and fight against your inclination to treat her as inferior *no matter how young she may look or how inexperienced she may be.*
– Don’t say “Ladies first”. If she is hosting then it is appropriate for you to order first.
– If you really do want to help women get ahead in business, then, instead of offering advice, ask, “How can I help you?”
– Personal information such as age, address, graduation year, what gym she frequents, etc. are not appropriate. She is there on business. Talk business. True, it doesn’t have to be all business, but let her guide the conversation, and if there is silence for a few moments, let there be silence.
– You don’t have to be funny.
– If you say something inappropriate, check yourself. Say you’re sorry, but don’t joke about it. Then move on.
And finally…
– Don’t try to pour anything. Let the serving staff do it.
What tips would you add?
Happy lunching, Ladies and Gentlemen!
